Feeling Not Enough

Ever have that feeling like you're not enough?  Let's not kid ourselves!  Of course you have.  Me too, Friend.  From the perfect pumpkin cheesecake that I made for a Thanksgiving potluck that never got touched (I mean, c'mon, it didn't even crack) to not knowing how to handle my kids in a given situation.  Though these are very real day-to-day scenarios, that sinking feeling like I just don't measure up plays a bigger role in how I feel about myself, respond to my husband, raise my kids, and even how I think God feels about me.  Battling this has been a tremendously hard journey, but I am so thankful that God has been patient in teaching me just how he feels about me, and I'd love to share just a little of that encouragement on to you!  Let's read this small bit from Mark.

Mark 12:41-44 (NIV)

The Widow’s Offering

⁴¹ Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. ⁴² But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.
⁴³ Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. ⁴⁴ They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”

When I first read this (well, after I question how awkward it was to get starred down when making an offering) I am quick to put it in the "sacrifice" category, nod with a smile, and tuck the meaning behind this lesson away for another time.  Though this picture that Jesus paints for us does point to sacrifice, I find that there is so much more hidden in these few verses.  Jesus didn't praise how much the wealthy had given, even though it's value could have accomplished far more than the widow's little gift.  It was never about the value of the gift, it was the heart attached to it.  So on a day when my contribution feels inadequate, I am gently reminded that God only asks that I work with what He's given me, and to do it wholeheartedly.  He's not measuring me based on how much impact my offering will provide, but the condition of my heart.  So take heart!  God wasn't determining whether or not my cheesecake measured up to Sally's apple pie!  He delights in the fact that I love to bake and do so to bring joy and bring people together!  So when that little voice tells you that you're not enough, silence it!  You, my friend, are enough.  

Colossians 3:23 (NIV)

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters

Father,
  Thank you for the many gifts and talents you have given me.  I rebuke the thought that I'm not enough!  I pray that you would soften my heart so that I am able to operate according to your will for my life, and that I would do it wholeheartedly.  Help me in areas where I am stubborn or reluctant to pour myself into what you have given me.  I love you.  Amen

xo, 
Jackie E