10 Tips for Having Twins on a Shoestring Budget

 

One of those moments that will be forever engrained in my memory:  the day we found out we were having twins.  My husband and I shot each other a look like deer in headlights.  We never entertained the possibility of twins.  We had just recently moved to Hawaii, stationed here by the military, we were now living in one of the most expensive places to live (insert several frantic thoughts here).  Though I was thankful for my husband’s steady job, I wasn’t yet working, and in just a moment my thoughts of continuing a career vanished.  Twins?  On one paycheck?  I knew that I was going to have to be extra resourceful, because we didn’t exactly budget for a double blessing (I'm not even sure we budgeted for a single blessing)!  Now that our twins are four, I thought I'd share some tips on how we've made a little budget go a long way:

1.       DON’T OVERBUY.  Walk into a Babies R Us and you will suddenly find that you had all sorts of needs you didn’t know you had!  News flash: you don’t need it all!  You don’t!  You just don’t.  Keep it simple:  it’ll save you time and money!  If you don’t have any little ones yet, ask your mommy friends to create a list of the top five things they couldn’t have gone without when their kids were babies.  But don’t stop there, ask them to give you a list of five things they hardly used.  Compile the list and bring it with you each time you shop:  you’ll be reminded of essential vs. excess.   

2.      WAIT TO BUY A BIGGER CAR.  If the budget doesn’t allow for a bigger car then consider narrow carseats!  There are several options for narrow carseats, Google’ll tell ya!  Take measurements and consider your options accordingly.  We crammed three kids into the back of my PT Cruiser until my twins were three, having saved money each month to dedicate to a bigger vehicle.  People will marvel at how you’re able to fit so many kids into such little space; let them marvel.  Trust me:  it’s better to have a car that you are financially prepared for than a mountain of debt. 

3.      BUY DIAPERS FROM BABIES R US ON COUPON.  Sign up for their free Rewards R Us card and you’ll start receiving their mailers.  They regularly have $8 or more off the price of their jumbo boxes.  Their jumbo boxes are quite expensive, but with the coupons, they often cost far less per diaper than the competitors.  Yes, I was the dork who would pull out my calculator to determine the price per diaper every time I went to a retailer.  When you get them on sale, buy two boxes to help tide you over until the next sale.  Costco often has a sale on their Huggies as well, offering $6 off per box.  At the sale price they are close competitors.  If you would like to save even more:  try the store brands!  We tried Target’s store brand and found they worked well!  If you’re adventuresome and want to cloth diaper:  more power to you, it’s just something I can’t speak to.

4.      JOIN YOUR LOCAL BUY, SELL, TRADE.  One of the greatest benefits of Facebook are the community Buy, Sell, Trade groups!  And if you’re extra lucky your community may even have a Mommies Buy, Sell, Trade!  Search these groups out so that you can start scoring deals on high ticket items for very little cost.  If you find that there isn’t one in your area:  consider creating one (and if you’re creating one- do the “Mommies” version:  it fits your specific needs)!  It’s such a great way to buy entire wardrobes for your kids, strollers, highchairs, swings, and more!

5.      ASK FOR HELP.  There are some costly purchases you will likely be making, and you’re providing for two, so don’t be afraid to ask for help on these costly things!  Take heart:  there is a tactful way to ask for help!  If someone is throwing you a baby shower communicate that you’re really needing help on some of the big ticket items and request that they mention on the invites that gift cards and group gifts will be extra helpful for you at this time.  No one will think twice about how they can be a blessing to you!  Target’s registry has a “start a group gift” option on the baby registry for big ticket items!  I’m not sure if this is offered by other competitors, but know it’s an option worth seeking out when you’re creating a registry!

6.      START BUDGETING NOW.  Determine which items you would like to buy new, and which you’re okay with buying used.  Create a cost analysis of what it’ll cost for those items and divide it over the course of twelve months (some things can wait until after they're born).  This is what will keep you on track and spare your marriage a few fights and stresses over money.  Your energy will be better spent elsewhere. 

7.      YOU DON’T NEED TWO.  Feeling like you need two of everything can weigh heavy when the budget is tight.  But you don’t need two.  Every single mother to twins that I have spoken to have a set just like mine:  the twins have opposite personalities!  One that is spunky and one that is calm and mild mannered.  One that likes to be rocked, and one that likes to be bounced vigorously.  What works for one of your twins likely won’t work for the other!  I had one that wouldn’t sleep without being in a swaddle blanket, and one that would only sleep if he could sprawl out without restriction.  One that liked the front to back swing, and one that liked the side to side swing.  This is another reason I suggest buying these things used… if they don’t favor it, sell it for what you have into it, and you will have never lost a dime!

8.      THEY DON’T NEED TO MATCH.  There may be special occasions or times when you want them to look like twins… but it’s not a requirement (contrary to popular belief).  You’ll likely receive matching outfits as gifts (which I was so appreciated), especially if you’re having identical twins.  So let your friends and family do the matching thing for you, and use your money elsewhere.  Know that dressing them differently will give them room to express their own tastes and preferences as they grow too!      

9.      HEALTHCARE COVERAGE.  Find out what your healthcare plan will cover.  Several will now cover the expense of a nice breastpump, which is a huge savings!  Also, determine what expenses they will/won’t cover during the birth so you can plan accordingly!  There are midwives that have and can deliver twins:  don’t buy into the idea that you don’t have options!  Speak to a midwife to determine if it’s a viable option for you and your babies.

10.  WORK FROM HOME.  For us the greatest expense in having twins was that it would cost more to have someone care for them than I would have earned.  Determine what skill or service you can offer from home!  Being in the military and moving frequently has allowed me the opportunity to meet a lot of great women that have found rather creative ways to supplement their husband’s income:  cutting hair, doing makeup for photo shoots, tutoring, piano lessons, teaching kids how to cook in the kitchen, or like myself:  selling items online.  I found a niche in selling used children’s clothing online.  And though it started small, it grew quickly.

There you have it:  ten tips for having twins on a shoestring budget!  These are things that I did to help spare the budget when we were expecting our twins, and by doing these things we actually managed to pay off a whole heap of debt!  I am confident that you too will find a way to make a small budget go a long way.  Congratulations on your double blessing, you're going to do great!

 

XO,

Jackie E

Your Cheatin' Heart

Every time I read the Ten Commandments I kind of use it as a measuring stick.  I think to myself “good there, good there too, mmm could be better on that one.”  However, there is one that I frequently dismiss despite the fact that I have been one of its greatest offenders.  The seventh commandment: You shall not commit adultery (Exodus 20:14).  "Okay, so God doesn’t want us to be cheaters.  Fine, got it." 

Long ago I dated a guy who I knew I wasn’t equally yoked with.  I knew that the Bible warned against this, but I really wanted to date him so I did.  My thoughts leaned towards “he believes in God… kind of” or “I can help him get closer to God” whereas my prayers were “God, please, please, please change his heart and help him to believe.” 

James 4:1-3

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? ² You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. ³ When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

I was living out the “it’s better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission” motto.  I didn’t ask God about dating the guy, instead I just begged God to make it right after pursuing my own desires.  The reality was that by living out this motto, I was actually committing adultery.  By cheating on God. 

James 4:4

⁴ You adulterous people,^[a] don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.

After dating him for a short time I had a dream that we had a baby.  The baby was beautiful, innocent, and perfect with exception to one thing:  the newborn infant was conflicted because he had to decide if he wanted to be black or white.  He didn’t know what to choose, trying on both colors to see which better suited him.  When I woke up the next morning the dream was vivid in my mind.  I knew right away that it wasn’t a dream about race.  It was God’s warning about the conflict my children would face should I remain with said boyfriend:  choosing to believe what his dad believed or what I believed.... no in between.       

This probably would’ve been a good time to gracefully exit the relationship, don’t you think?  Instead, I buried the warning pretending I could ignore it.  Which is a funny thing: because when we bury things deep within our heart (good or bad) they tend to grow roots.  I couldn’t shake the dream!  I was at odds with God… an internal battle between choosing God or choosing my own desires.  I tried so hard to have both, but ultimately had to choose only one.  Ending the relationship was messy.  And hard.  And ugly.  It caused a whole lot of hurt and brokenness that never had to happen if only I had been faithful to God.

 

 

If only.  Do you have any of those hiding in your closet?  Obedience to God isn’t just because he wants to measure us, seeing if we can live up to the standard he set.  Obedience to God is so that we can experience the vision and provision HE has for us.  That relationship I chose for myself wasn't God's vision or provision for me.  Friend, we’re not going to find HIS vision and provision in chasing our own desires.  Thankfully the “if only” that might plague your past doesn’t have to plague your future.  He has a new future for you, and his mercies are new every morning…but it does require you to choose only one.

Father, thank you for your Word.  Thank you for being gracious and merciful.  Please forgive me for the times I chose the world and pursuing my own desires over choosing you.  Help me, Father, to always choose you over what the world has to offer, even when it’s hard.  Please give me the wisdom to know, the ears to hears, and the eyes to see your vision and provision for my life.  I love you.  In Jesus’ name, Amen. 

xo,

Jackie E

Finding My Purpose

 

At a young age I already knew I would one day run my own business, I just wasn’t too sure what kind of business it would be.  So many choices, how does one pick a path?  So my choice for a bachelor’s degree?  Business administration, naturally!  It was only after one, yes ONE semester that I transferred schools…and I didn’t quit there.  I finally settled in at college number three, and it wasn’t for business admin. Retail merchandising and managementà I know, you don’t even know what that really means.  Nevermind what I went to school for, because employers didn’t seem interested either.  My dreams of crashing the world with my creative visual genius died quickly when I couldn’t even nail a retail management position.  It was my family’s desperate plea to find something, anything when I bit the bullet that my dream career may not pan out the way I thought it would.

 

Sound familiar?  Those big dreams you had that seemed to fall flat?  Christianity can feel the same way at times… we learn that we have a mission and were created for a purpose… but struggle to find it.  Maybe you’re like I once was and secretly wish someone would just approach you with some divine word with exact instructions for fulfilling you’re God-given purpose.  Have no fear, there are answers to this very big question mark!

 

Yes, you were created for a purpose!

 

Ephesians 2:10

For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

 

Well, I guess you can head on your way, because that pretty much sums up all we need to know!  But for good measure, we can go deeper!  You and I were created to do good works, and God prepared them in advance for us!  How cool is that? 

 

Ephesians 4:11-13

It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

 

God has done a lot of work to provide people that will help prepare you… be sure you’re leaning in to these people!  They will help launch you into that whole purpose thing.  These verses in Ephesians 4 really help us dissect what our steps are:

 

SERVICEà builds up the body à unity à maturity à WHOLE MEASURE à FULLNESS of CHRIST

 

Can you imagine becoming the whole measure of the one who created you?  Filled to the brim with Christ!  Now that sounds purposeful!  So where then, do we take our first step?  Service, my friend, and more specifically in ways that build up the body of Christ.  We’re not just talking about random acts of kindness here (though they’re nice)… we’re talking about service.   

 

serv·ice

ˈsərvəs/

noun

1. the action of helping or doing work for someone.

 

Service is work!  It’s not some feel good act you get to do leisurely!  It’s gonna cost you something: time, money, blood, sweat, tears, or all of the above [insert frown here]!  Don’t wait for someone to ask, or when something that suits your liking comes along!  It’s not so much about which step you take (provided it builds others up and points them to Jesus), it’s about taking a step.  Get out of your comfort zone and extend a warm welcome, love on the kids in Sunday School, vacuum floors, something!  There is something beautiful that will begin to happen in the midst of your service. 

 

When I first began in my new “out of college” job I was frustrated that I had to start at the bottom (I mean, c’mon, who goes to college to start at the bottom??).  In that job I learned a few new things about the weight of paper and copy machines, but more importantly about myself (and how much I hated cold calling businesses).  At my next job, I still was working an entry level position.  This time I learned even more about what I was and wasn’t good at.  Slowly I started finding my way into roles that suited my developing skills a little bit better than the last job… and they became a little more fun, and a little more profitable!   

 

You’ve probably heard the phrase “life is a journey, not a destination”- same is true for finding our purpose!  It just starts with taking that first step.  In serving others we better serve Christ.  What I found as I began a small Bible study for moms, it began to change my heart. It is a soft heart that God can mold and fashion into the creation HE always intended me to be according to HIS purpose.

 

Father, thank you for your Word and all that we can glean from it!  Thank you for preparing work that you fashioned just for me!  I pray that you would help me to be a good servant and that you would use my service to build up the body.  Help me to be unified with the body of Christ in faith and knowledge of your Son, that I may mature and become the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.  In Jesus’ name, amen.

 

XO,

Jackie E

As You Get Dressed Today

Once upon a time I was that girl:  the super fashionable, trendy, spend 10 hours walking in heels kind of girl.  Outfits that were layered just so, folded and tucked meticulously, and accessorized with the cutest jewelry… all done like it was my business. Because it was.  The longer I was working for the fashion retailer the more perfected my wardrobe became.  I loved helping women pull off a great new look, often selling the most of whatever I was wearing that day because honestly, people need help visualizing a “look”.  Nowadays I go to my closet and stare at my clothes for a very long time.  It’s not because I have too much to choose from (though I certainly could use a good closet cleanse), but because it’s an odd blend of what once was fashionable and the clothes I now tend to wear.  You know the kind:  the “I won’t cry if you get a little snot, puke, hole, tear, or spaghetti on it” kind.  There’s no doubt that I have adjusted my wardrobe to suit my lifestyle as a mom with little ones.  There are different clothes for different seasons, but there are clothes suitable as a Christian that we should always wear.

Colossians 3:12 (NIV)

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Getting dressed (or not) is a daily decision!  Did you choose to dress yourself in compassion today?  How about patience?  Perhaps patience was that scarf you decided to scrap the moment you got in the car with the kids. Most days this laundry list (no pun intended) seems a little hard to put on!  Really God?  Compassion AND kindness AND humility AND gentleness AND patience AND forgiveness?  If this feels a bit overwhelming to you too- like the kind of closet you stare at feeling incapable of getting it all together: there’s good news!

Colossians 3:9b-10 (NIV)

Since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. 

Your wardrobe, should you choose to wear it, will be renewed to look just as the designer who made it!  Really, no need to stress out over keeping up with the latest trends, our Creator will supply you with all that you need to know to piece together ALL of those ANDs. 

I do have a CAUTION for you though:  while working at said retailer, I found myself becoming critical of other brands!  When a customer would come into the store sporting a pair of our competitors jeans I was quick to make a judgement about their “lack of style”.  Seems silly, right?  Unfortunately, we do this on a spiritual level too!  We make judgements about the compassion someone forgot to put on today, or how rude someone was despite their "I love Jesus" bumper sticker.  Let’s be careful that we’re not quick to criticize what each other are or aren’t wearing and rather focus on whether or not we got the WHOLE outfit together.  We are called to give a loving nudge when a close brother or sister in Christ is having a wardrobe malfunction, but not criticize (remember:  this requires us to be gracious when we get a loving nudge from a friend that can spot when we're having a wardrobe malfunction).

Colossians 3:14 (NIV)

And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

We can dress ourselves in these virtues, but without love it all falls flat.  Like that statement piece that brings the whole outfit together:  put on love.  So today, as you rise, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and forgiveness.  And once we’ve done that, unify it with love, because this is the final piece that will bring the rest of it together.  It is this outfit that will draw the attention of the world (see Col 3:1-11).  These virtues will draw attention:  and the more you wear it, the more comfortable it will feel… and the people around you will begin to ask where they can get that “look” too.

Father, today as I rise I pray that you will renew my thinking that I would look like you today.  Please give me the compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience and forgiveness to dress myself in.  Father, I pray that you would help me to put on love, especially in times when I don’t feel loving.  Please give me a gentle reminder throughout my day of adjustments I need to make, and help me to be bold in speaking to who you are when others take notice.  In Jesus’ name, amen.

 

xo,

Jackie E

When God No Shows

When I was in fourth grade I was SO excited to get glasses!  I thought they were cool (this is in the early 90's- we defined cool).  By fifth grade I was praying them away, literally.  This was at a time when the churches were having crusades, healings happening everywhere, and a church that was excited!  With each special service or guest speaker I heard I asked God to heal my poor eyesight.  My young faith was convinced he would do that for me!  But he didn't.  Time after time, prayer after prayer, believing with my whole heart, God no showed.  And it seemed as though he showed up for the people around me, but why not me?

Let's pick it up in Matthew 14

Matthew 14:22-33 (NIV)

²² Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. ²³ After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, ²⁴ and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.
²⁵ Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. ²⁶ When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
²⁷ But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
²⁸ “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
²⁹ “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ³⁰ But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
³¹ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
³² And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. ³³ Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

Have you ever spent a considerable amount of time with a few people?  Lived in a dorm, gone on a mission trip, eat, sleep, and do most everything with them for a time?  You get to know them pretty well, like what things you would prefer they not eat, jokes to play on their fears (hello creation of the plastic cockroach), what makes them cry, and what their favorite shirt is.  So when we read that when Jesus' disciples cried out in fear that "it's a ghost" does it strike you as odd?  His disciples didn't recognize him?  Oh and by the way, this wasn't the only time the people closest to him didn't recognize him! 

At times when God seems to no show, my question is this:  did he really no show, or did you fail to recognize him?  A heavy question, I know!  There is no shame in your honest answer to this, remember the guys who hung out with him all the time didn't even recognize him!

So what do we do when we can't see him in our situation?  Let's take some cues from what we read:

1.  Spend time with God 

It's hard to distinguish him from the crowd when we don't know his voice, his tendencies, even his smell!  I included the first verses 22-23 so that you could see even Jesus took time to spend time with God (which just happened to be on a day he was mourning the death of John the Baptist, spent a lot of time healing people, preached for hours, and fed the crowd of 5,000+). 

2. Ask him to draw you to him 

Peter, in disbelief, asked Jesus to draw him to Him.  Notice that Jesus didn't scoff at their unbelief?  Instead he answered Peter's unbelief and told him to come!

3. Do what he tells you to do

Jesus told him what to do!  Imagine if Peter had said "naw, I'll stay here, I believe it's you.  Why don't you just come get in the boat?"  When we don't heed God's directions, we become good people, with good intentions, who make faulty decisions. 

4. Stay focused on God rather than your storm 

Living in Hawaii is pretty awesome, but I've learned quickly to have a healthy respect for the water.  Getting pulled back out to sea after a wave tosses you onto the beach teaches you that healthy respect.  I've had those thoughts rush through my head "I don't think I'm gonna make it out of this alive."  So when I read that Peter was afraid of the wind, I imagine it was a pretty legitimate fear... the "this may end me" kind of fear.  Focusing on the fear reveals unbelief, focusing on Jesus reveals faith.  Having the faith to focus on Jesus rather than the storm doesn't mean the storm goes away, but we can have peace in the midst of it and not get swallowed whole by it!  Psst...helpful hint:  focusing on God becomes easier when you spend time with him!

Almost 20 years had gone by when I had quit believing that God cared about my eyes.  My miracle came in the form of corrective surgery when my husband decided I really should get it, so much so that he created a budget in our already tight budget to ensure it would happen!  Much later God reminded me "remember those prayers?  I did."  My husband never knew about my prayer petitions, but God used the man I married to show me that God was always present in the situation I thought He no showed. 

Father,
  Thank you for your Word and all that we're able to draw from it.  Father help me to spend time with you that I might be able to better recognize you.  When I can't see you in my situation please draw me to you, help me to follow your commands and directions, and help me to keep my eyes on you rather than the storm.  Help me to trust that you are in the midst of what I'm going through.  In Jesus' name, Amen. 

xo

Feeling Not Enough

Ever have that feeling like you're not enough?  Let's not kid ourselves!  Of course you have.  Me too, Friend.  From the perfect pumpkin cheesecake that I made for a Thanksgiving potluck that never got touched (I mean, c'mon, it didn't even crack) to not knowing how to handle my kids in a given situation.  Though these are very real day-to-day scenarios, that sinking feeling like I just don't measure up plays a bigger role in how I feel about myself, respond to my husband, raise my kids, and even how I think God feels about me.  Battling this has been a tremendously hard journey, but I am so thankful that God has been patient in teaching me just how he feels about me, and I'd love to share just a little of that encouragement on to you!  Let's read this small bit from Mark.

Mark 12:41-44 (NIV)

The Widow’s Offering

⁴¹ Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. ⁴² But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.
⁴³ Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. ⁴⁴ They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”

When I first read this (well, after I question how awkward it was to get starred down when making an offering) I am quick to put it in the "sacrifice" category, nod with a smile, and tuck the meaning behind this lesson away for another time.  Though this picture that Jesus paints for us does point to sacrifice, I find that there is so much more hidden in these few verses.  Jesus didn't praise how much the wealthy had given, even though it's value could have accomplished far more than the widow's little gift.  It was never about the value of the gift, it was the heart attached to it.  So on a day when my contribution feels inadequate, I am gently reminded that God only asks that I work with what He's given me, and to do it wholeheartedly.  He's not measuring me based on how much impact my offering will provide, but the condition of my heart.  So take heart!  God wasn't determining whether or not my cheesecake measured up to Sally's apple pie!  He delights in the fact that I love to bake and do so to bring joy and bring people together!  So when that little voice tells you that you're not enough, silence it!  You, my friend, are enough.  

Colossians 3:23 (NIV)

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters

Father,
  Thank you for the many gifts and talents you have given me.  I rebuke the thought that I'm not enough!  I pray that you would soften my heart so that I am able to operate according to your will for my life, and that I would do it wholeheartedly.  Help me in areas where I am stubborn or reluctant to pour myself into what you have given me.  I love you.  Amen

xo, 
Jackie E