Loving People: Why is it so Hard?

It’s that time of year again.  The Christmas hustle and bustle by nature requires us to come face to face with the masses of consumers, which is about enough to cause anyone to go into deep holiday despair.  More than that, it becomes a time when we really evaluate our friendships and our relationships with family, the people around us, and those we wish were still here with us.  THIS is what makes Christmas hard.  It’s an in depth look at the friendships I injured with unloving words, the people I knowingly withheld love from, and those whom I loved poorly.  Not that all is lost, there are a few good reflections of those whom I loved well.  And then there are those no longer living, whom we wish we could show love to and be loved by once again.  Loving people:  why is it so hard? 

So when my pastor covers that verse, the one where Jesus commands us to love one another as He loved us? 

“A new command I give you:  Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” 

John 13:34 

Ugh.  Talk about a heavy hitter, and I am quick to start reasoning why I’m good at loving some, and why I’m not good at loving others.  If this is His greatest command?  I am quick to feel disqualified from being a follower of Christ.  I’ve tried loving better, extending myself to those I wouldn’t normally, turning the other cheek when I’ve been struck, and not saying the hurtful things I’d love to just let roll off the tongue at times.  And yet, I still get uneasy every time I read verses about how loving God means loving others, and loving others means loving God. 

“Whoever loves God must also love his brother.”  1 John 4:21

 

Don’t you just want to keep reading more verses in hopes that He’ll give us some exceptions?  But NO, instead He continues to tell us to do it like He did…and He died…for people who were rude and unkind to Him…people who hated Him! 

So what gives?  Why would God give us a command that feels impossible to achieve? Let me share from my pastor’s sermon (you can find the link below), and I’ll be paraphrasing, but it is the key to fulfilling this command.  Jesus doesn’t command the impossible to disqualify me, instead He invites me into a deeper relationship with Him where He equips me to do the impossible:  love the impossible.  Our ability to love others is simply a byproduct of loving Him. 

Contrary to every love song ever written:  love is more than just a feeling, it is learned.  This is why growing into a deeper relationship with Christ allows us to better love those around us.  Who better to learn love from than the One who created it?    As Ps. Mike put it, “our branches will never outgrow our roots.”  So if you also feel like you’re struggling to love others, may I invite you to grow deeper in your relationship with Christ?  You can do this by spending time in your Bible… His story written for you.  Spend time with other Christians who will be good mentors.  And pray.  Only then can we fulfill the impossible:  loving others the way Christ loves us…and that is fruit I’d like to bear more of.

Father,

Forgive me for not loving others in the way you’ve commanded.  Forgive me for trying to love them out of my own strength!  Please help me to grow deeper in You, that loving others would be an extension of who you are within me.  Thank you for giving us Your story, and the freedom to draw close to you.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

XO,

Jackie E

Caution:  Loving others and having healthy boundaries are NOT mutually exclusive.  If you have found yourself in an abusive relationship of any sort,  please seek help on how to place/enforce healthy boundaries in these relationships.

Burnette, M. (2016). The Book of John:  A New Command [video]. Retrieved from http://www.lifepointclarksville.com/sermonarchive/the-book-of-john-a-new-command/

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